Friday, October 10, 2008


Happy Birthday Dear Padre
Happy Birthday to You
you taught us life's lessons
I've listed a few

to be humble but proud
to be respectful to all
to extend a kind hand
when one suffers a fall

to know right from wrong
to deal with crisis
and you didn't forget
to teach us the vices

to gamble, to drink
to do both with class
without looking foolish
or dumb as an ass!

to enjoy ourselves
escuchando canciones
cantar "¡Ay Chabela!"
con mucho cojones!

You taught us to love
I see it dear Padre
in the way that you are
to our sweet and dear Madre

I wish I could follow
the example you've set
but it's not easy to do
you're the best man I've met!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Palin vs. Spears

Click on the picture.
From Hong Kong

The Skinny Lifestyle

I love to shop in Hong Kong. Clothes are made for skinny people, so everything just...fits. I'm a 32" waist after a large meal (wearing a belt so that my pants don't work their way half way down my arse). The tag is from a pair of size large Adidas workout undergarments that fit me...tight!

How to stay skinny:
  1. Do lots of yoga.
  2. Live in a city where you sweat (embarrasingly) like a pig whenever you step outside.
  3. Eat little or no meat.
  4. Go out for a session only once weekly.
The picture below captures the lifestyle that keeps me skinny:
  1. I'm going to yoga later.
  2. I'm dining alfresco in Hong Kong park, so sweating like a pig.
  3. The few mean pieces of meat in this delicious curry (maybe $3US) are as much as I've had in many days.
  4. I'm eating alone, so not enjoying alcohol with friends!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Expat Blues

I'm bored with my diet
if you ask then I've tried it
my kitchen at home is so missed.

So what to do now?
to a restaurant to add to my list.

On the Island side
or a Star Ferry ride
I just want to try something new.

I'm far from home
and all alone
resigned to my expatriate blues.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Birthday Poem to Mama

By the hour
I think of you
Pretty as a flower

Every day
I'm missing you
More than I can say

Comes the week
When feeling lost
It's thoughts of you I seek

A month will pass
It's been so long
Since I've seen you last

Ends the year
Happy Birthday Mom!
The one I love so dear

Saturday, August 23, 2008

One Bad Mutha Tocaya

My tocaya just won a semifinal match in Tae Kwon Do in the Olympics. She is "one bad mutha...shut yo mouth". RIP Isaac Hayes.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Pam's Birthday Poem

I missed your birthday
for the umpty-umpth time.
But you're never late
when that birthday is mine.
If only you knew
just how much you're missed.
As proof of my feelings
I've made you a list!

When I'm drinking fine wine
good times past come to mind

When I go to Kowloon
I hope to see you real soon.

And when loneliness comes
separated by miles
I'm warmed by the thought
of your beautiful smile.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What, no beer?

What would a site called "WORTHOG" (or "WORT-HOG" because WORTHOG was taken) be without some mention of beer? "Wort" is unfermented beer, and fermented beer happens to be my favorite drink. "Hog"...well, I do love pork. Especially when it's in a nice bowl of ramen, a slice of nice bacon, or a mean enchilada. (With a big bowl of frijoles! Oh God how I miss comida Mexicana.) But I digress. Suffice it to say that I didn't misspell "warthog", or that I did so intentionally. You decide.

Anyway, beer. My current favorite western restaurant in HK serves three interesting beers on tap, Budvar (the real, and better Budweiser), Maissels Weisse in an oversized glass, and a third whose name I don't recall. The beer I'm drinking in my apartment for the last couple of weeks is called HUIQUAN, and old timers will recognize the very, very "old school" pull tab next to the can.

Back to the other "WORTHOG" Blogger site. It is taken by some young Japanese kid who has two posts in three years. I love his two posts. So much said in so few words. I wonder what his story is?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Meat Markets

This is near LKF, but it's not that kind of meat market. It's like 85F in Hong Kong, and this meat is hanging out in the open waiting for buyers. I'm sure the flies are getting what they can before these pieces of flesh find a home. The amazing thing is that it doesn't stink, unlike the assault to the senses of piss, perfume, and partying pfarting pforeigners after dark in Lan Kwai Fong!


Endless toil. A taxi driver told me he works 13 hours daily, with one day off every two weeks. The guy who cuts my hair said he works 10 hours per day, every day. The waitress in my favorite vegetarian restaurant said that she has one day off each week. My day is relatively short...I leave my apt at 745 and get back a little less than 12 hours later. As my barber said regarding his work schedule, "This is Hong Kong style."

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Fines & Dog "Faeces"

Spitting from a taxi will cost you $1500HKD. Smoking in a taxi gets you a $5000HKD fine. "...fouling of streets by dog faeces" will set you back $500HKD. Still, I managed to step in some dog poo on my way home from work. This on the same day that I noted a billboard reminding citizens of the "dog faeces" fine, and then thinking to myself about how I very rarely see pet animals, and how that is a Good Thing. Canine Cosmic Karma at work here?

Friday, July 11, 2008

(North) Americans with Problems

Enjoying a beer at a very cool bar in the Japanese restaurant housed in the Mongkok Langham Place hotel. Two 30-something Westerners walk in with a local gal and one of them is talking very loudly about how one of the bosses daughters is "very hot." He then tells his colleagues (and everybody else within earshot, which included everybody in this bar) that he refuses to look at the naked baby children of anybody he knows, because he doesn't want to deal with whatever it is that goes through his little mind when he sees them after they've grown up into hot young adults. He said something about how it "messes with his mind". Freud might describe it differently. I think he's just a really f*cked-up-in-the-head American (or Canadian, eh).

How can people who are so messed up be at least successful enough to enjoy $15US glasses of scotch in a faraway land (probably) at company expense? I wonder if his colleagues were embarrassed by his pronouncement? I'm a little nutty myself, but I put myself firmly in the camp of the sane compared to this dude.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Apple, Ball & Ice

I've met two gals named "Apple", a guy named "Ice", and a girl named "Clifton". I work with a guy who calls himself "Ram". Here's how he explained it, "I need provide english name in first day of high school. I like computer class. Therefore, using RAM for my english name." That's right, it's RAM as in Random Access Memory! I've yet to run into a boy named Sue.

Update...there's a "Ball" who works in my office.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Gweilo Seating

This is Gweilo seating in an inexpensive noodle shop in Causeway Bay. The Blackberry on the table is my constant dinner companion.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Typhoon Fengshen

Just experienced my first typhoon, whose name I now know to be my namesake in Chinese. The city completely shut down. All those cool city lights were extinguished last night while the wind howled and the rain pounded. It was eerie seeing Hong Kong dark at 10PM.

Missing Home

I miss K. I miss home. I miss our garden. TigerLily wrote, "We will miss you in Hong Kong. Make sure to meet the King!"

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cheryl's Worst Nightmare

This is Cheryl's worst nightmare. Cheryl is a colleague who eats American food.

This was my lunch at a vegetarian restaurant near where I work. It was quite nice, but not nearly as nice as my current favorite vegetarian restaurant, where my broken Mandarin is coming in handy.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Hong Kong

I have arrived safe and sound in Hong Kong after a 14 hour flight from Vancouver. Spent the weekend doing a little shopping, picking up some necessaries that I'll need during my stay (oil for making popcorn, butter for making popcorn, etc). My boss was thoughtful enough to have beer, noodles and some (tasteless) apples and oranges, and a mobile phone waiting in my apartment for me when I arrived. All helped to ease the shock of my trip somewhat.

My 336 sq ft apartment doesn't seem that small. One certainly can't beat the view!